I will never forget the sick feeling in my stomach and the surreal moment when my parents came to my house at 3:00 AM to tell me about the crash.  I could hardly comprehend what they had to tell me.  They said that a drunk driver going the wrong way on the freeway hit Shawn, Natalie, and Sage.  Shawn and Sage were killed and Natalie was in a coma at the hospital.  They said she had sustained a terrible brain injury and the doctors didn't know if she would live.  As my mind and heart were trying to undersand what I had heard, I didn't know if I wanted Natalie to recover and live.  I didn't want my beloved sister to have to experience the deep, wrenching pain of life without her darling husband and daughter.  I didn't want to see her suffer both physically and emotionally.

As you can see, Heavenly Father protected Natalie's life and I strongly believe she is alive for important and specific reasons.  I am grateful for that and for the example and influence she has been to many, many people-including myself.  She has suffered immense pains because of another's choice and as a sister it breaks my heart to think of all that she does not have at this time.  

I have never seen a couple as in love as Shawn and Natalie.  They absolutely adored each other.  They put the comfort and wishes of the of the other in front of their own.  They were unselfish in their relationship.  I would see them laugh together, play together and thorougly enjoy the company of the other.  I know their love was real, deep, and binding through the eternities.  When Sage came into their family, both Natalie and Shawn felt a sense of completeness.  She was their angel and they were loved, concerned, and devoted parents.

Shawn was my friend as well as my brother-in-law.  I loved to be around him any chance that I had.  He made me feel good about myself the way he would compliment and make me feel.  He was personable and loving.  I really enjoyed his many talents and stood in awe at the many things he excelled at.  I loved to hear him sing and play the piano.  He was extremely gifted in music, but he could also write, draw, create, dance, play any sport and play it well.  He shared his talents freely and never thought he was better than another.  He was humble and teachable.  I love Shawn for so many reaons, but the biggest is the way he loved and treated my sister Natalie.  He was not shy to let it be known that he adored and was devoted to her.

Sage was a delight to be around and I loved when Shawn and Natalie would come over with her.  My four kids cooed and fussed over her and enjoyed her sweet little smile.  My kids loved it when Shawn would show us Sage's dance.  It was so so cute!  We all miss her very much.

I could write and write about how much I love and miss them but I will try and sum up how this has impacted my life.  I lost a dear friend and brother-in-law.  I lost a darling niece.  I lost a sister that I had before the crash.  It is very hard to see someone you love experience such deep pain.  I went to see Natalie just about everyday in the hospital.  I was 29 weeks pregnant with twins and my body went into early labor due to the stress.  I knew I needed to take it easy and be down as much as possible but I wanted to be there for Natalie too.  Watching her recover was difficult.  She had many days of extreme pain.  It was heart wrenching to see her lying in bed, crying out to have someone take the pain away.  She would say, "I can't do this anymore.  Make it go away PLEASE!"  I would gently reassure her as I had tears streaming down my cheeks.  It was hard to see her suffer, lying in bed, tubes coming out her nose, throat, and arms.  It is amazing to see the effects of another person's choice.

Many lives were touched at the sadness of this story.  I hope by others seeing what can happen when the decision to drink and drive is made that they will think twice about what they are doing.  I hope some have chosen to never drink again.  Many lives have been affected on both sides.  Many hearts have been broken.  Many good innocent people have suffered unbearable pains, with Natalie being at the top of that list.  This is truly a tragedy.